Introduction to the Meaning Behind Shemewé

Shemewé (pronounced Shem-a-way) is a social theory born out of long term observation, reflection, and contemplation between individuality and collective identity. It explores each aspect as an entity, and in relationship with its opposite, 'she', and 'he', 'me' and 'we'.

Shemewé represents the space we each inhabit; the feminised (She), masculinised (He), the part of us that’s beyond classification (Me), and that which is in relationship with everything and everyone around us (We).

We believe in every human being's birthright to express both the feminised (she) and masculinised (he) aspects of their nature, regardless of gender, age, or cultural identity.We also accept that human survival drives not only a need for secure attachments to significant others (We), but also an expression of one's unique authentic self (Me).

Shemewé offers an opportunity to contemplate these aspects in oneself and the social world, providing a framework that can be applied in various contexts such as relationships,interconnectedness, and social responsibility.

Observing the She and He

For a long time and before the inception of Shemewé my attention was drawn to understand the she and he. As a teenager I observed the behaviours and non-verbals, listened to what was said, and left unsaid, in the interactions between the adult women and men in my family, school and community. I learned the beliefs, values and attitudes held by the dominant culture towards each gender. Then I formed some of my own views and lived by them.

Shemewé breaks out of this gendered view offering us a more holistic, integrated perspective.

Perception Through a Different Lens

In my twenties I learned that the two hemispheres of my brain enable me to perceive, process, and express information very differently. I also learned that one was not superior to the other, and that integration of both is the key to higher level functioning for us all.

My observations confirmed how the systems and institutions belonging to the world I was in, were designed to deliver information in a way that failed to embrace the variety of people and needs within the community. One way of operating was accepted and normalised as supreme over all others, rather than cultivating an openness to and respect for many varied approaches to life, living and the delivery of services.

Shemewé offers a guiding framework that challenges the one-sided values and rigid constructs often perpetuated by dominant cultural systems. By encouraging integration, inclusivity, and authenticity, Shemewé enables us to rediscover the wisdom of interconnectedness and holistic living once more.

A Cultural Construct

My reflections led me to recall how people from more traditional societies use not only both hemispheres of the brain but their body, senses and relationship to each other and the natural world to learn, transmit and store information. This was more natural to me and my preferred way of interacting with life. Yet the wider society viewed this as 'less than'.

Why is the written word held as superior to human memory, and the rich oral traditions, stories, music, paintings, weavings, and countless practices that hold the knowledge and wisdom of the world's first peoples? Why are the integrated and holistic wisdom of traditional societies so undervalued by modern systems? Do they not belong to us all, tracing back to our shared origins and the roots that connect us as human beings?

The dominant culture surrounding me lacked integration and was shaped by one sided values that felt misaligned to me, such as, consumerism, overwork, self neglect, lack of accountability, power over rather than power with, control, externalised, outward seeking, using and abusing, dividing and separating, utilitarian, lack of care and humanity.

Shemewé rehumanizes us and supports groups often overlooked in the dominant culture. Through our We Belong EAP & Private programs, we provide meaningful support to people of diverse cultural identities, men, and members of the LGBTIQAP+ communities.

Socialisation and Relationship Patterns

Work in the relationship sector confirmed for me that the socialisation of men and women and rigid gender roles set us up to fail as couples. A stereotypical example is the persistent challenge in communication, for partners. I’ve experienced firsthand and observed how difficult it can be for one party to identify, name and responsibly express their emotions. Withdrawal, silence or angry outbursts commonly result. Whereas the focus of the other party may be on maintaining connection. They neglect their own needs perhaps expecting them to be understood or even met by their partner. Naturally such a dynamic can foster resentment and misunderstanding and all too often leads to relationship breakdown.

One role is socialised to be very outward-looking, in service to the world (i.e. work), competitive, craving status, power, dominating and self serving. While the other role is designed to be more inward-looking, in service to the care of the relationship and the family unit, cooperative, communal, nurturing, and selfless.

Instead of being complimentary, differences become oppositional creating obstacles for adults to work through making it difficult for them to succeed. Many people living in affluent cities are sure these stereotypes have been overcome. But my work with couples and families over several decades proves they are still strong—often hidden beneath a thin layer of gender-neutral appearances.

Shemewé breaks out of gender stereotypes encouraging recognition and integration of all parts in oneself, our relationships, and communities. At Shemewé Collective we also focus on parents and couples who, once bolstered by strong community networks, now find themselves navigating overwhelming demands in isolation. Facing the daily struggle of balancing work, family responsibilities, and personal well-being, often comes at the expense of their mental health.

The Emergence of Shemewé

In 2016, the term Shemewé came to me — surfacing in my awareness. At first, I had the she, the he, and the we — but I knew something was missing. I knew that the missing part would reveal itself, so I stayed open and ready to receive it. Once the final piece — the me — landed, I knew it was complete. I didn't like the sound of each pronoun being enunciated so I accented it, so Shemewé (Shem-a-way) is easy to pronounce.

Considering the society, I live in has broken all things down into parts, including the human body. It makes sense then, for me, that Shemewé was born out of a search for reintegration and reconnection for the individual, and the social world.

A Framework That Continues to Evolve

Since then, Shemewé has continued to shape my thinking. I see it less as something I created, and more as a framework that emerged through observation, reflection, and dialogue. It continues to inform how I understand people, systems, and the spaces between them.

With Shemewé I understood that the she and the he are not assigned to people but rather were expressions belonging to each one of us. It was difficult to explain this because commonly the she is associated as woman, and the he is associated as man. It also became clear that both the feminised and masculinised are shaped by the dominant culture to which each person belongs. There is no one way of perceiving this, although there are likely intersections where interpretations are shared.

I’m less interested in defining the characteristics of feminised and masculinised and more eager to encourage the acceptance of difference. Not one better than the other, but on the understanding that embracing both is essential for our higher functioning as human beings.

This is just the beginning - more to come.

Shemewé fosters environments that embrace empathy, collective care, and the multiplicity of the human experience. We address the isolation faced by modern parents and couples and recognise the unique challenges faced by people of diverse cultural identities, men, and members of the LGBTIQAP+ community.

At Shemewé Collective we strive to create spaces that welcome all voices, ensuring these groups are not overlooked and are uplifted. Through such efforts, we seek to bridge the gaps left by outdated societal norms, cultivating a space for meaningful connection and shared humanity.

Shemewé in the Workplace

Shemewé Collective offers a series of programs that reclaim some of what’s missing in the dominant culture - from holistic models of care to facilitated circles, experiential workshops and relational groups. They invite individuals and teams to reclaim parts that may have been silenced or sidelined — feeling, care, authenticity. They also create space to practice the balance between compassion and accountability, choice and duty, autonomy and belonging. Shemewé offers a transformative lens for relationships, inclusivity, and connectedness, with ongoing relevance.

If you're a values-driven organisation seeking a Shemewé values approach to wellbeing, diversity and leadership, I'd love to connect. Learn more at shemewé.com or reach out to start a conversation.